...and I'm a Celebration-aholic.
I think my problem started when I reached my late-teens. Christmas was always my favourite time of year as a kid but as my sister and I got older our family celebrations got smaller. I guess my parents thought Christmas wouldn't hold the same magic it had when we were young. It wasn't just my Mum and Dad either, to me Christmas had just become about opening presents and having a big dinner. Don't get me wrong, dinners and pressies are awesome things, but I had no enthusiasm or spirit for the holiday season anymore. Then I got my first job and I went from £20 pocket money a month to £300 wages a month... just in time for Christmas. I was still living at home rent-free at this point so I spent every penny I had on gifts for my family and friends, decorations for my bedroom and Christmas themed accessories. From that moment I was hooked. The next year I cooked my first Christmas dinner at my then-boyfriend's house whilst his parents were away celebrating in Florida. I spent hours researching recipes and made food I'd never even tried before just because it was traditional Christmas food. Now that The Boy and I rent a house we decorate bigger each year and we get anxious for December 1st when we go out and buy our tree!
Ok, so I suppose it wouldn't be too much of a problem if my addiction began and finished with Christmas but unfortunately there's more. In the weeks after Christmas I started getting Post-Chrimbo Depression. I'd get emotional taking down the Christmas decorations and it'd feel like forever until I'd be seeing them again. I had to get my fix somewhere else. That's when I stumbled upon Chinese New Year. Chinese food, decorations and fortune cookies anyone? Ok, how about Shrove Tuesday? Everybody loves pancakes right? Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Easter Monday? Lets roll chocolate eggs down the stairs and make a centrepiece out of tiny, yellow plastic chicks! Halloween, April Fool's Day, Bonfire Night, Valentine's Day! Too long to wait til Christmas? Well, I know we live in the UK but we can celebrate Thanksgiving can't we? And so on. I figured out that I can be constantly planning for some sort of Holiday all year round. I love it. I live for it! Just don't get me started on Birthdays and Anniversaries!
I've just realised I've been rambling on but I wanted to add quickly that although a lot of the holidays I've mentioned are heavily commercialised, to me they are far less superficial. Everything I celebrate has an underlying meaning, for instance at Christmas, I care far more about being with family, making a meal with love and surprising them with a well thought out gift than getting gifts myself. On Valentine's The Boy and I do something romantic to celebrate our love for each other. I just love creating my own traditions and I'm sentimental to the bone. I'm addicted to having something to look forward to!
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
Thursday, 18 November 2010
30 Days of Truth Quickie: Part 3
Final part of my condensed 30 Days of Truth. I'm going to have to come up with my own ideas for blogging topics from now on... heavy...
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
No :D
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
The reason I am still alive today is because I have never been murdered, fatally ill, fatally injured, accidentally decapitated or cut in half. I’ve never suffered a humongous amount of blood loss or brain damage. I was always properly fed as an infant, child and teenager and was sufficiently capable of feeding myself once I left home. I possess enough intelligence to know not to play in traffic and not to feed lions by holding out a scrap of meat. I know not to ingest poison because of the handy skull and crossbones on the bottle and sexual asphyxiation just ain’t my thing. I’ve never committed suicide (or a homicide in Texas) and I’ve never eaten Fugu from a backalley foodcart. I don’t skydive without a parachute, borrow money from Tony Soprano or do cartwheels in minefields.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Yes, but I’ve never wanted to give up on living.
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Apart from my relationship and family I’d have to say my First Aid work. I’ve just been on my first duty, and even though we didn’t have any patients, I really feel like I’m getting somewhere and that good things will come from it. Its far more fulfilling than my regular job.
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
I’d be ecstatic. I’d tell The Boy, buy loads of pregnancy/baby books, start guessing what sex it was going to be and probably go into an organizational frenzy.
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
I hope that I can one day be more motivated. I have a lot of ambitions, that at the moment I have no hope of fulfilling. I want to get up in a morning and have a routine so that everyday chores are almost a reflex and I can focus on everything else I want to do. I want to be somebody.
Day 30: A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
Dear Adele,
You care, you love, you accept and you respect. You’re a little bit eccentric but that’s pretty cool. You know how to make yourself laugh. You’re an amazingly optimistic person. When it comes down to it, you really don’t care what you look like but you know its always fun to wear cute or pretty things. You’re creative and experimental. You know how to push yourself. You know when to give up but you don’t do it easily. You have awesome friends, and your boyfriend is pretty hot. You’re awesome.
Love, Adele
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
No :D
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
The reason I am still alive today is because I have never been murdered, fatally ill, fatally injured, accidentally decapitated or cut in half. I’ve never suffered a humongous amount of blood loss or brain damage. I was always properly fed as an infant, child and teenager and was sufficiently capable of feeding myself once I left home. I possess enough intelligence to know not to play in traffic and not to feed lions by holding out a scrap of meat. I know not to ingest poison because of the handy skull and crossbones on the bottle and sexual asphyxiation just ain’t my thing. I’ve never committed suicide (or a homicide in Texas) and I’ve never eaten Fugu from a backalley foodcart. I don’t skydive without a parachute, borrow money from Tony Soprano or do cartwheels in minefields.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Yes, but I’ve never wanted to give up on living.
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Apart from my relationship and family I’d have to say my First Aid work. I’ve just been on my first duty, and even though we didn’t have any patients, I really feel like I’m getting somewhere and that good things will come from it. Its far more fulfilling than my regular job.
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
I’d be ecstatic. I’d tell The Boy, buy loads of pregnancy/baby books, start guessing what sex it was going to be and probably go into an organizational frenzy.
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
I hope that I can one day be more motivated. I have a lot of ambitions, that at the moment I have no hope of fulfilling. I want to get up in a morning and have a routine so that everyday chores are almost a reflex and I can focus on everything else I want to do. I want to be somebody.
Day 30: A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
Dear Adele,
You care, you love, you accept and you respect. You’re a little bit eccentric but that’s pretty cool. You know how to make yourself laugh. You’re an amazingly optimistic person. When it comes down to it, you really don’t care what you look like but you know its always fun to wear cute or pretty things. You’re creative and experimental. You know how to push yourself. You know when to give up but you don’t do it easily. You have awesome friends, and your boyfriend is pretty hot. You’re awesome.
Love, Adele
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
30 Days of Truth Quickie: Part 2
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Live and let live. Love and let love. Nobody has the right to tell someone who they can and can’t marry and how they live their life.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Faith is a beautiful thing. Organized religion can be dangerous and too many evil and hateful acts are done in its name. It scares me.
Politics also scare me. My country is broken and I don’t trust, agree with and didn’t vote for the man who claims he can fix it. I feel betrayed by some of the things he has done and this scares me too.
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
With alcohol I’m on the fence. It can be fun when people drink responsibly but far too often people abuse alcohol and the fun stops. Personally, I like to indulge every now and then but I’ll never be somebody who goes out on the piss every weekend. I’d rather go out and dance.
I’ve never tried drugs, not even Marijuana, and I’m ok with this. The fact that they aren’t legal and are unregulated, (and no official guidelines on their use exist) means I’ll probably stick clear of them unless that changes. I hope that I never have a drug addiction.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
I’d probably still be angry but I’d visit her to see how she was. I wouldn’t automatically forgive her but she’d still be my best friend and I’d still care.
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
I wish I’d never been so lax with money when I lived on my own. I must’ve spent something like £10,000 in the space of 18 months. All savings and wages thank goodness otherwise I would’ve been up shit creek in debt.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
There’s no point answering this question because I’m not on my deathbed and anything that I answer this question with I could just turn around and do tomorrow.
Live and let live. Love and let love. Nobody has the right to tell someone who they can and can’t marry and how they live their life.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Faith is a beautiful thing. Organized religion can be dangerous and too many evil and hateful acts are done in its name. It scares me.
Politics also scare me. My country is broken and I don’t trust, agree with and didn’t vote for the man who claims he can fix it. I feel betrayed by some of the things he has done and this scares me too.
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
With alcohol I’m on the fence. It can be fun when people drink responsibly but far too often people abuse alcohol and the fun stops. Personally, I like to indulge every now and then but I’ll never be somebody who goes out on the piss every weekend. I’d rather go out and dance.
I’ve never tried drugs, not even Marijuana, and I’m ok with this. The fact that they aren’t legal and are unregulated, (and no official guidelines on their use exist) means I’ll probably stick clear of them unless that changes. I hope that I never have a drug addiction.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
I’d probably still be angry but I’d visit her to see how she was. I wouldn’t automatically forgive her but she’d still be my best friend and I’d still care.
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
I wish I’d never been so lax with money when I lived on my own. I must’ve spent something like £10,000 in the space of 18 months. All savings and wages thank goodness otherwise I would’ve been up shit creek in debt.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
There’s no point answering this question because I’m not on my deathbed and anything that I answer this question with I could just turn around and do tomorrow.
Monday, 15 November 2010
30 Days of Truth Quickie: Part 1
For the past few days I've been putting off coming back to my blog and I've realised that it was because I'm not really enjoying the whole 30 Days of Truth thing anymore. I like the concept and want to answer some of the questions but I resent having to make it the focus of my blog entries. So I'm not going to. I've quickly written a few sentences for each of the remaining topics and I'll post it in 2 or three parts over the next few days. Once that's done I'll be free to blog about what I want to blog about. It feels so liberating!
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
I’m privileged to know everybody in my life whether they drive me up the wall or make my life easier. I’d never wish I didn’t know somebody because every time I meet someone new I learn a little something about myself.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
I’m pretty adventurous with my hair and whenever I try out a new colour or style I get a lot of compliments. They’re mostly from other women though so I can never quite tell if they’re genuine! My family and friends compliment me on my cooking a lot.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
I never get complimented on my nails because I bite them to death, always have done. That and my housekeeping skills, which are non-existent!
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Screw writing a letter but the song When you were young by The Killers helped me make a very important decision in my life. I won’t go into details because it’s pretty personal but there ya go.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Again, no letter but the recent “Twitter Sex Scandal”(LOL) surrounding Jason Manford really got to me. I thought he was better than that.
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
The Boy. In the three years we’ve been together I’ve only spent a handful of nights away from him and jeez was it miserable! Oh, and, I know this question is metaphorical in spirit but I feel like I have to point out that physically, I could go on living without him but I just really, really, REALLY don’t want to. Ever.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
I could definitely live without smoking. I’m struggling to quit at the moment and I’ll admit I fell off the wagon after 2 days but I know that it isn’t a necessary part of my life and I’ll be better off without this disgusting habit.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Ok, I’m changing “book” to “film” and I’m going to say Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. I watched it when I was 18 and it really altered my view on what love is, and what a loving relationship can be.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
I’m privileged to know everybody in my life whether they drive me up the wall or make my life easier. I’d never wish I didn’t know somebody because every time I meet someone new I learn a little something about myself.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
I’m pretty adventurous with my hair and whenever I try out a new colour or style I get a lot of compliments. They’re mostly from other women though so I can never quite tell if they’re genuine! My family and friends compliment me on my cooking a lot.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
I never get complimented on my nails because I bite them to death, always have done. That and my housekeeping skills, which are non-existent!
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Screw writing a letter but the song When you were young by The Killers helped me make a very important decision in my life. I won’t go into details because it’s pretty personal but there ya go.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Again, no letter but the recent “Twitter Sex Scandal”(LOL) surrounding Jason Manford really got to me. I thought he was better than that.
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
The Boy. In the three years we’ve been together I’ve only spent a handful of nights away from him and jeez was it miserable! Oh, and, I know this question is metaphorical in spirit but I feel like I have to point out that physically, I could go on living without him but I just really, really, REALLY don’t want to. Ever.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
I could definitely live without smoking. I’m struggling to quit at the moment and I’ll admit I fell off the wagon after 2 days but I know that it isn’t a necessary part of my life and I’ll be better off without this disgusting habit.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Ok, I’m changing “book” to “film” and I’m going to say Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader. I watched it when I was 18 and it really altered my view on what love is, and what a loving relationship can be.
Thursday, 11 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 10
Apologies but I quit smoking yesterday and my nicotine deprived state is denying me the attention span to write a blog entry. Normal service shall resume tomorrow!
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 9
Today will be a short entry because I'm having far too much fun dancing round the living room to Katy Perry to blog!
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go but just drifted.
I feel bad for drifting away from most of my high school friends. In particular there are a handful of beautiful and unique ladies I was really close to when I was 15/16 that I only have the most basic of Facebook friendships with now. Its sad. They rode the rollercoaster of my teenage years with me and you can't really forge those kinds of friendships when you're older. I guess its part of growing up though, and I don't know how our friendships would relate to my life now. But still, I wish we were closer.
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go but just drifted.
I feel bad for drifting away from most of my high school friends. In particular there are a handful of beautiful and unique ladies I was really close to when I was 15/16 that I only have the most basic of Facebook friendships with now. Its sad. They rode the rollercoaster of my teenage years with me and you can't really forge those kinds of friendships when you're older. I guess its part of growing up though, and I don't know how our friendships would relate to my life now. But still, I wish we were closer.
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 8
It's coming to the end of my time off work and I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm looking forward to returning to work, but I'll be glad to have something to do with my days. I'm slightly disappointed that all the things I planned to get done in these two weeks haven't really come to fruition. No point in regretting what I can't change though ey?
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
At first I thought I had nothing to write about for this entry but then I remembered a pretty bad time in my life that wasn't really caused by an individual alone, but a group. It was back when The Boy and I first started going out. We worked together at a video game store and were aware that company policy dictated we wouldn't be allowed to work in the same store. Despite that, we were honest about our relationship from the start, we informed our superiors and were told that it wouldn't be a problem as long as we were professional. So we were. For a year we worked together and not once did our relationship get in the way of work, not even when The Boy was promoted to be my supervisor. Then our manager quit to work for a family business and things got really crap.
The company hired a new manager who had no experience working for an electronics retailer, trained him for a week, and shipped him out to our store. On his first day the new manager, S, called me into the office and gave me a speech about how having The Boy and I work together was bad for running the business, pointing out a day on the holiday calendar that we'd booked off together. I was then informed that the solution to that problem would be for me to transfer to another store. I refused on the grounds that the new store was two hours away by public transport, far too far for me to travel for a four hour shift, never mind the fact that I'd worked in the store since it opened and felt I'd played a large part building it up from nothing.
A few days later I was asked to sign a contract change. S wanted me to change my contracted hours and one of the new shifts would coincide with one of my university lectures. I'd been a student the whole time I'd worked for the company and thought it was outrageous that it hadn't been taken into account when S had been rearranging my shifts. Just as I was starting to worry about where the situation was heading, The Boy was signed off work sick for a month. With the most senior member of staff out of action, S began relying on me to run the shop (no experience remember). I worked my ass off for a month and during that time, S confided a few things to me. First, there were a LOT of vicious and untrue rumours circulating through the other stores about The Boy and myself and our work conduct. Second, one of the colleagues from another store wanted to transfer to our store but, due to the fact I had some history with her boyfriend, she absolutely refused to work with me. She also just so happened to be the Divisional Manager's favourite and it was at the DM's insistence that I was asked to transfer stores. When I refused to sign the contract change S had been instructed to make me redundant. The day before The Boy was due to come back to work S took me to one side and said that he was impressed with how I worked and thanked me for helping him transition to his new role. He said that if I stayed at the store and worked through Christmas (the store's busiest period) he'd "try" and convince the DM that I should keep my job. I just laughed, told him I was resigning and never returned. I got a new job with a reference from my old manager.
I loved my job. The staff were like a family and I poured my heart and soul into the store and worked upwards of 60 hours a week, a good portion unpaid. At the end, when I learnt what I did, my life was turned upside down. It made my life Hell. I still can't believe something I loved so much ended that badly and I haven't been able to work up the same passion for any job I've had since. It broke my heart.
Sorry for such a long entry!
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
At first I thought I had nothing to write about for this entry but then I remembered a pretty bad time in my life that wasn't really caused by an individual alone, but a group. It was back when The Boy and I first started going out. We worked together at a video game store and were aware that company policy dictated we wouldn't be allowed to work in the same store. Despite that, we were honest about our relationship from the start, we informed our superiors and were told that it wouldn't be a problem as long as we were professional. So we were. For a year we worked together and not once did our relationship get in the way of work, not even when The Boy was promoted to be my supervisor. Then our manager quit to work for a family business and things got really crap.
The company hired a new manager who had no experience working for an electronics retailer, trained him for a week, and shipped him out to our store. On his first day the new manager, S, called me into the office and gave me a speech about how having The Boy and I work together was bad for running the business, pointing out a day on the holiday calendar that we'd booked off together. I was then informed that the solution to that problem would be for me to transfer to another store. I refused on the grounds that the new store was two hours away by public transport, far too far for me to travel for a four hour shift, never mind the fact that I'd worked in the store since it opened and felt I'd played a large part building it up from nothing.
A few days later I was asked to sign a contract change. S wanted me to change my contracted hours and one of the new shifts would coincide with one of my university lectures. I'd been a student the whole time I'd worked for the company and thought it was outrageous that it hadn't been taken into account when S had been rearranging my shifts. Just as I was starting to worry about where the situation was heading, The Boy was signed off work sick for a month. With the most senior member of staff out of action, S began relying on me to run the shop (no experience remember). I worked my ass off for a month and during that time, S confided a few things to me. First, there were a LOT of vicious and untrue rumours circulating through the other stores about The Boy and myself and our work conduct. Second, one of the colleagues from another store wanted to transfer to our store but, due to the fact I had some history with her boyfriend, she absolutely refused to work with me. She also just so happened to be the Divisional Manager's favourite and it was at the DM's insistence that I was asked to transfer stores. When I refused to sign the contract change S had been instructed to make me redundant. The day before The Boy was due to come back to work S took me to one side and said that he was impressed with how I worked and thanked me for helping him transition to his new role. He said that if I stayed at the store and worked through Christmas (the store's busiest period) he'd "try" and convince the DM that I should keep my job. I just laughed, told him I was resigning and never returned. I got a new job with a reference from my old manager.
I loved my job. The staff were like a family and I poured my heart and soul into the store and worked upwards of 60 hours a week, a good portion unpaid. At the end, when I learnt what I did, my life was turned upside down. It made my life Hell. I still can't believe something I loved so much ended that badly and I haven't been able to work up the same passion for any job I've had since. It broke my heart.
Sorry for such a long entry!
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Monday, 8 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 7
I'm sleeping way too late into the afternoon recently, and staying up far too late at night. It's messing with my schedule man. I only have five days left! I've gotta be living it up every minute! Aargh! Ok, rant over, I'm going to snuggle back down into the sofa now. Are smiley faces like :D :) :( :O appropriate for a blog? I figure its my blog my rules but I always end up feeling silly and deleting any I've put in my post. Hmmmm...
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Ok, I've been looking forward to this topic because it means I get an excuse to be all mushy about The Boy in a public forum. Haha! He's the most important person in my life and my favourite person ever! I go to work so we can build towards our future together and I hope I can spend my life making memories with him. I would do anything I could to make sure he gets what he wants from life. I dream for the future because I'm with him. My life is worth living because I get to share it with him!
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Ok, I've been looking forward to this topic because it means I get an excuse to be all mushy about The Boy in a public forum. Haha! He's the most important person in my life and my favourite person ever! I go to work so we can build towards our future together and I hope I can spend my life making memories with him. I would do anything I could to make sure he gets what he wants from life. I dream for the future because I'm with him. My life is worth living because I get to share it with him!
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Sunday, 7 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 6
Ok, so I'm a bit late in posting today but everything got put on hold today until I finished Fable III. Yup, and that means I'll be serving up Sunday Dinner at 11:30pm! I figure that as long as I can slip this post in before midnight it still counts right? Right...
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
I hope that I'll never have to spend an extended period of time in a hospital or similar institution. When I was 15 I spent three days in hospital having my appendix removed. I've never been so miserable in my life. I couldn't get out of bed because I was recovering from surgery and the only human contact I had was when people came to visit, which wasn't often. The ward I stayed on had phones by each bed but they turned off after 10pm and any phonecalls after that time were diverted to an answering machine. On my last night I was waiting for a phonecall from my Dad and he didn't call until a couple minutes past 10pm. I cried listening to the message because I was so lonely and frustrated. I was so happy to be released the next morning I nearly jumped on the bus there and then. I hope I never have to go through something like that ever again. I was only in hospital for three days and it was awful enough. I can't imagine how horrible it would be if I was admitted for anything more serious.
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
I hope that I'll never have to spend an extended period of time in a hospital or similar institution. When I was 15 I spent three days in hospital having my appendix removed. I've never been so miserable in my life. I couldn't get out of bed because I was recovering from surgery and the only human contact I had was when people came to visit, which wasn't often. The ward I stayed on had phones by each bed but they turned off after 10pm and any phonecalls after that time were diverted to an answering machine. On my last night I was waiting for a phonecall from my Dad and he didn't call until a couple minutes past 10pm. I cried listening to the message because I was so lonely and frustrated. I was so happy to be released the next morning I nearly jumped on the bus there and then. I hope I never have to go through something like that ever again. I was only in hospital for three days and it was awful enough. I can't imagine how horrible it would be if I was admitted for anything more serious.
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Saturday, 6 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 5
Yesterday was Bonfire Night here in the UK, and like every other minor holiday I can get my hands on, we had to celebrate! The Boy's mummy hosted and put out loads of good food and we had loads of fireworks and spent time with family. Unfortunately I spent a bit too much time with the vino and now I'm stuck in bed with a rotten head, but still a good time was had all round. I took some photos but my head hurts too much to figure out how to post them!
I slightly abandoned my cooking last night. I made the next recipe in the book, Cauliflower and Broccoli Gratin, and ohmigod it was awful. I think we both ate a mouthful and decided we couldn't eat it and made and old favourite haha!
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
I hope that one day The Boy and I will start a family. The one thing, above everything else, I want to achieve in life is to have a big, happy family and a warm, welcoming home. For me, that's what life is all about. You can have your important jobs, exotic holidays and flashy cars but if you don't love what you're coming home to then is it all really worth it?
I'd love a baby now. It's not the most appropriate time but when is the right time? I follow a ton of mommy-bloggers and get jealous of my colleagues when the bring their babies into work. I'm ready. We're ready. I just hope it happens for us soon.
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
I slightly abandoned my cooking last night. I made the next recipe in the book, Cauliflower and Broccoli Gratin, and ohmigod it was awful. I think we both ate a mouthful and decided we couldn't eat it and made and old favourite haha!
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
I hope that one day The Boy and I will start a family. The one thing, above everything else, I want to achieve in life is to have a big, happy family and a warm, welcoming home. For me, that's what life is all about. You can have your important jobs, exotic holidays and flashy cars but if you don't love what you're coming home to then is it all really worth it?
I'd love a baby now. It's not the most appropriate time but when is the right time? I follow a ton of mommy-bloggers and get jealous of my colleagues when the bring their babies into work. I'm ready. We're ready. I just hope it happens for us soon.
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Friday, 5 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 4
Happy Bonfire Night!
Day 4 and I 've made things a little cosier on my end. I'm wrapped in a duvet, typing on my laptop from the sofa instead of sitting on the uncomfortable computer chair. The weather has suddenly dropped so cold here and I'm fighting the urge to turn on the heating. Brrrrrrrrrr!
Ok. First things first!
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Again, this is a hard one for me to answer, main reason being, I like to hold a grudge. It's the only part of my inner drama queen I let out. But I suppose, for the sake of my blog I'll admit to being petty and accept that perhaps I could have let a certain person off the hook a while ago... not that I'm going to!
I need to forgive my sister for taking my clothes when I was living at home. Its probably typical sibling stuff really but to me, at the time, it was awful. My younger sister was always slimmer, more popular and more confident than I was but for some reason she could not stop taking my stuff. I could go shopping on a Saturday to buy a dress to wear for a party that night, get home, hang it in my wardrobe, jump in the shower and by the time I got back to my room my sister would have been in there, taken the dress and set off, for a party of her own, wearing it. The reason it hurt so much was that I felt like I couldn't have anything. My then-boyfriend bought me some rings for an anniversary, I put them away in my (locked) jewellery box and found them a week later in my sister's room, scratched to hell. I felt like I was being robbed and explaining that to her made no difference.
I need to forgive her for several reasons, not least because its been years since I lived at home with her. Although it was almost traumatic for me at the time I accept that its a natural part of sisterhood and living in a family home. Whatever the reason for her taking my clothes, she's my little sister, I love her, and I guess I can accept that holding onto something as small as this isn't worth it in the grand scheme of things.
Dinner: 04/11/10.
Last night I made Baked Polenta with Tomatoes & Mozzarella and Sweetcorn Pancakes with Tomato Chutney. I was disappointed with the polenta. I've been wanting to try it for years and it just wasn't what I expected. I giggled over the Boy's inability to eat the baked tomatoes in the Polenta dish but his love of the tomato chutney in the other one. I don't get fussy eaters! I tried taking photos but the nights are closing in now and I'm still working on the best combination of artificial lighting.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 3
Third day posting in a row! Round of applause anyone? No?... ok.
I'm really enjoying blogging at the moment. I think having a specific topic to post on every day is helping me keep up momentum. Its fun! I find myself anxious to sit down and write my next post but I've been waiting until my boyfriend is out of the house before I start writing. Not that I'm ashamed of my little blog or anything, I just have a bad habit of revealing my intentions to people, lapping up all the praise and then failing to follow through. Anyhoo... on with today's topic!
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
When I first read the topic for today I thought I literally had nothing to write about. Yeh, I've done some pretty crappy things in my life, but I'm at peace with them all. And I believed that, until I was cooking dinner yesterday night.
I was trying out two new dishes on my fussy-eater boyfriend and it took longer than I'd expected to put everything together and serve up. When it got to the point where dinner was over an hour later than I'd promised, and still nowhere near done, I started mentally berating myself. Why hadn't I read the recipes fully? Why hadn't I cleaned the kitchen enough? Why had I left it until so late to start dinner? By the time food was actually ready I was far to angry at myself to acknowledge the compliments from my boyfriend or marvel over the fact that he'd cleared his plate of spinach and was looking for seconds.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to forgive myself for not being perfect. I'm not perfect and I think it would actually be impossible for me to live up to my own standards. Worst of all, my disappointment at not meeting them masks the triumphs. I'm not ready to forgive myself yet, even though I know I should.
A note on dinner.
I've been a vegetarian nearly six years now and when I first made the decision most of my family were sure I'd never stick to it. My Nan went digging into her cupboards and found an old vegetarian cookbook for me that, in the past six years, I've never used. I re-found it again this week and have committed myself to cooking a recipe from it everyday until I've made everything in it, to repay my Nan's support all those years ago. Last night I made Eggs with Spinach & Cheese Sauce and Bubble & Squeak. Yumyum!
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, or embarking on any culinary adventures, let me know so I can follow along!
I'm really enjoying blogging at the moment. I think having a specific topic to post on every day is helping me keep up momentum. Its fun! I find myself anxious to sit down and write my next post but I've been waiting until my boyfriend is out of the house before I start writing. Not that I'm ashamed of my little blog or anything, I just have a bad habit of revealing my intentions to people, lapping up all the praise and then failing to follow through. Anyhoo... on with today's topic!
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
When I first read the topic for today I thought I literally had nothing to write about. Yeh, I've done some pretty crappy things in my life, but I'm at peace with them all. And I believed that, until I was cooking dinner yesterday night.
I was trying out two new dishes on my fussy-eater boyfriend and it took longer than I'd expected to put everything together and serve up. When it got to the point where dinner was over an hour later than I'd promised, and still nowhere near done, I started mentally berating myself. Why hadn't I read the recipes fully? Why hadn't I cleaned the kitchen enough? Why had I left it until so late to start dinner? By the time food was actually ready I was far to angry at myself to acknowledge the compliments from my boyfriend or marvel over the fact that he'd cleared his plate of spinach and was looking for seconds.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to forgive myself for not being perfect. I'm not perfect and I think it would actually be impossible for me to live up to my own standards. Worst of all, my disappointment at not meeting them masks the triumphs. I'm not ready to forgive myself yet, even though I know I should.
A note on dinner.
I've been a vegetarian nearly six years now and when I first made the decision most of my family were sure I'd never stick to it. My Nan went digging into her cupboards and found an old vegetarian cookbook for me that, in the past six years, I've never used. I re-found it again this week and have committed myself to cooking a recipe from it everyday until I've made everything in it, to repay my Nan's support all those years ago. Last night I made Eggs with Spinach & Cheese Sauce and Bubble & Squeak. Yumyum!
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, or embarking on any culinary adventures, let me know so I can follow along!
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 2
I've been worrying about this one for a bit. I struggled to put my finger on one individual thing that I love about myself because I figured "I love that I'm me" was a bit of a cop out. I've finally settled on something that I think is a positive attribute to my character and also something that defines me as a person.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
I have a very caring nature and that's what I love the most about myself. I have an immense capacity for empathy, nurturing and respect. It can stretch as far as feeling guilty for cleaning mould out of a cup, because I imagine it took so much effort for it to grow, which sounds kinda nuts. Its inspired me to do things like volunteer for a First Aid charity and adopt my pets from a shelter. I whole-heartedly believe people should get what they want from life as long as it doesn't infringe on the freedom of others. It breaks my heart when people are wronged by society. I suppose that's pretty typical of me, to be broken up by things I have no control over, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, it can mean I carry several burdens at once. It means I'm often emotional over a TV advert or documentary and sometimes it keeps me up at night, but I wouldn't change it because it inspires me to fight. In little ways. Like refusing to serve customers who use racial slurs to describe the Indian and Chinese food I serve at work or always having change to donate to (genuine) charity collectors. It might not seem like much but it helps me to know I'm making a difference. So yeh, maybe I cry over the poor working donkeys on the posters but knowing my little dog sleeps on a warm, cosy bed instead of out in the rain, that's the best thing in the world! And it happens because I care.
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
I have a very caring nature and that's what I love the most about myself. I have an immense capacity for empathy, nurturing and respect. It can stretch as far as feeling guilty for cleaning mould out of a cup, because I imagine it took so much effort for it to grow, which sounds kinda nuts. Its inspired me to do things like volunteer for a First Aid charity and adopt my pets from a shelter. I whole-heartedly believe people should get what they want from life as long as it doesn't infringe on the freedom of others. It breaks my heart when people are wronged by society. I suppose that's pretty typical of me, to be broken up by things I have no control over, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, it can mean I carry several burdens at once. It means I'm often emotional over a TV advert or documentary and sometimes it keeps me up at night, but I wouldn't change it because it inspires me to fight. In little ways. Like refusing to serve customers who use racial slurs to describe the Indian and Chinese food I serve at work or always having change to donate to (genuine) charity collectors. It might not seem like much but it helps me to know I'm making a difference. So yeh, maybe I cry over the poor working donkeys on the posters but knowing my little dog sleeps on a warm, cosy bed instead of out in the rain, that's the best thing in the world! And it happens because I care.
I'm writing my 30 Days of Truth. If you are writing yours, let me know so I can follow along!
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
30 Days of Truth: Day 1
One of my favourite bloggers Emmalina has started blogging her 30 Days of Truth so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon! I've always wanted to start a blog and I think a bit of self exploration is the perfect excuse. So, here goes:
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
The one thing about myself that can frustrate me to tears is my apathy. When put into a highly stressful situation I fare pretty well, can make snap decisions and ride out the consequences. However when it comes to long term goals I just couldn't care less. I failed my university degree, I'm underperforming at work and my health is suffering just because I'm too lazy to do anything about it. Pathetic right? Yeh. I know that I'll start this blog with good intentions I'll aim to keep up with one post every day, but there'll be one day where I'll just think, "I've updated every day for a few days now. I'll have a break." One day will turn into two and so on and so forth until it's been so long that there's no point.
The reason I hate my apathy so much is that it is purely of my own making. I try to understand it and fight it but I don't understand why I fail which is what makes it so frustrating. I've started to get a reputation for being unreliable and it hurts because I don't want to be.
I'm going to stop writing now because I'm starting to sound like a whiny brat!
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
The one thing about myself that can frustrate me to tears is my apathy. When put into a highly stressful situation I fare pretty well, can make snap decisions and ride out the consequences. However when it comes to long term goals I just couldn't care less. I failed my university degree, I'm underperforming at work and my health is suffering just because I'm too lazy to do anything about it. Pathetic right? Yeh. I know that I'll start this blog with good intentions I'll aim to keep up with one post every day, but there'll be one day where I'll just think, "I've updated every day for a few days now. I'll have a break." One day will turn into two and so on and so forth until it's been so long that there's no point.
The reason I hate my apathy so much is that it is purely of my own making. I try to understand it and fight it but I don't understand why I fail which is what makes it so frustrating. I've started to get a reputation for being unreliable and it hurts because I don't want to be.
I'm going to stop writing now because I'm starting to sound like a whiny brat!
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